The point of conflict begins when the a person fails to communicate his/her feelings to the other person. A person chooses not to communicate and instead either lashes out or tends to shut down -- this is an easier way to end a vexing conversation, a defense mechanism when you find yourself in an uncomfortable position, or a way to dominate a particular situation.

It never ceases to amaze me why people choose to engage in conflict rather than nip it in the bud by taking time to analyze and explain how a particular disagreement came about and how it escalated (I am guilty as charged). Instead, people try to acquire more dominancy by aggravating the situation, testing other people's limits, and taking advantage of other people's weaknesses.

Pride -- it's a curse of the human race; the root of all discord. It thrives on conflict, bitterness, resentment, hate, and many other negative feelings. Surely all of us take pride in something. It's inherent, it's a disease inflicted right in the heart of our very existence. Where all this pride is going to take us, we don't know but we're up for the worst.

We fail to communicate with our fellow beings because we'd rather be superior than inferior. We'd rather let pride get in the way instead of setting aside our differences. We'd rather make enemies by being dominant than making friends by swallowing our pride. We cut communication lines because we think that opening up first gives a sign of inferiority.

We're human beings given a voice and the cognition to express and relate with other human beings. It's a basic function of the body but we seldom exercise it in a proper way. We just have to simply say what we feel, what we want, what we expect, what we need. Do we always have to have the last word just to point out that we've dominated the situation? Is it always the case that when we have the last word, we've already won an argument? There are no rules that state that. Is it also the case when the person apologizes first, s/he is the inferior one? Again, there are no rules that state that.

Eventually, we should speak, express, communicate more with other persons. Maybe that's why we've been brought in a world full of persons such as ourselves (but not quite our own individual personas). That is, to settle our differences, learn how to communicate and learn how to live in a disoriented world with full of discourse to prevent confict.

I love you Les :)

Why Do We Fall in Love?
By Amy Bowles Reyer, Ph.D.

"It is better to have loft and lost than to never have loft at all." — Groucho Marx
Everyone does it at one time or another but why? We're talking about falling in love. Professor Arthur Aron from State University of New York at Stonybrook, has been exploring the dynamics of what exactly happens when two people are falling in love:

Q:   What motivates people to seek out love?

A:   Our primary motivation as human beings is to expand the self and to increase our abilities and our effectiveness. One of the ways we accomplish this is through our relationships with other people. We have learned in our research that it is important to feel that you have the ability to be an effective person, especially in our relationships.

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Q:   How does this theory of self-expansion explain the process of falling in love?

A:   Usually, we fall in love with a person that we find attractive and appropriate for us, but also someone who demonstrates that they are attracted to us. This creates a situation where a great opportunity is open to us for self-expansion. The fact that they are attracted to us offers a significant opportunity — when we perceive this, we feel a surge of exhilaration!

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Q:   Does it always work this way?

A:   No, an interesting exception to this occurs if we feel badly about ourselves. The process gets thrown off if we can't believe that another persons finds us attractive — like the Groucho Marx joke where we don't want to belong to a club that would have us for a member. We tend to miss out on opportunities for falling in love if we don't feel good about ourselves.

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Q:   What conditions are best for meeting someone and falling in love?

A:   When you meet someone under conditions that are highly arousing — a political demonstration, turbulence on a plane, a stimulating performance — a time when the body is stirred up and excited, we tend to experience attraction at a heightened level. This effect is well documented but the explanations for it are very controversial. I tend to believe that we come to associate the arousal of the situation with this person and our own self-expansion.

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Q:   When do we fall in love?

A:   Contrary to what most people think, the statistics show that most people fall in love with someone that they have known for a while. People only report falling in love quickly about 1/3 to 40 percent of the time. Of course, this varies from culture to culture. Falling in love happens differently between cultures but it does occur in most cultures.

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Q:   How does our appearance factor into the equation of falling in love?

A:   This is interesting; we have found that if you are very unattractive, it can hurt you a lot in forming romantic relationships. However, being attractive doesn't help that much.

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Q:   How do you explain that?

A:   We have found that two important characteristics, kindness and intelligence, are extremely important in the process of falling in love. And attractiveness is not connected to these things. These two attributes are things that people learn about someone from knowing them over time. Intelligence is important in all aspects of life, especially in love. But kindness is the strongest indicator for a successful long-term relationship.

Global warming. Typhoons. Earthquakes.

War. Conflicts. Political Turmoil.

Bigotry. Hate. Discrimination.

All these are the result of what we have been doing over the past several years. A result of what we've been gradually concocting all along. As Newton's third law would accurately state, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. I shudder to think as to what will happen in this world 10 years from now, and if ever we will still have a place to live in, or people to be with.

Apathy. I haven't got the slightest clue if this is already considered even as a venial sin but it is rather deadly. Once you feel apathetic to everything around you, it will get back to you, twice as mean... twice as deadly. Apathy is not similar as that referred to above, which is categorized as a head-on conflict. Rather apathy is something seemingly remotely dangerous than meets the eye. The concept is summed up to this: the more you don't do anything when you everything's going wrong, the more you will be devoured by the consequences.

See what we've done? How are we going to fix it now?

Movie: Little Miss Sunshine

I expected it to be just another cheesy family movie, although it remained to be so, it actually turned out to be more of a dark satire. A homosexual genius who lost his job and his partner. An overly optimistic father who lives by the rules of winners but could not attract success into his own life. A  daughter who dreams of becoming a beauty queen someday. A son takes a vow of silence until he reaches his goal of becoming a pilot but later on finds out that he's color blind.

All these characters had dreams that they passionately hope to achieve but unfortunately, they fall short of that dream and in any case, life must go on. It got me to thinking that it's a sad reality that sometimes we don't always get what we want, and sometimes we eventually get what we want but we have to go through difficult circumstances to get it. There are times that we really have to work harder for that dream. We may face different adversities and hardships but that doesn't mean that our dream is not ours to take, perhaps it means that we need a little detour, a break, and gradually rev up the engine once again and give it a bit of push. Some might be successful, some might not be. But the point is, once you get close to your dream, and find out that you're unable to handle it, you don't simply back out. You have to take the stand, smile and savor the moment. Even if you don't fully attain your goal, at least you took a shot -- not thinking that it was the last.